Very early this morning,

Am a firefighter and this past evening I was called to a fire scene. There was nothing different about this house fire other then it seemed hotter and bigger then what I have seen before. There is always different color of fire just not your orange-red glow. Many things burn differently and can give off different colors of fire it is very beautiful but also very deadly. Two people died in this house fire. It is not the first time I have seen people put into body bags and there is steam/smoke coming from the bags. I don’t know why this time I can not seem to shake what I have witnessed. This couple was found in bed and with two small dogs that were also dead. I wonder how they could not have been aware of the situation, having the dogs surely would have alarmed them. I am guessing and I know that is not going to help me with why I can’t get over the fact that this elderly couple have lost their lives for what??? I don’t know why as I am typing this out am getting very upset, mad to a point. I don’t understand what I am feeling at this time. I have not been doing this job long but for five years almost. I think that maybe I just need a break from this job. Like I said before I don’t understand and it is making me mad. Cause I know myself pretty well.

This just seems to have me caught in something new. I guess I am going to have to take time off to understand what is happened that has made me change.

It’s now past noon, and I still can not shake the feeling. I have spoken to my chief and he as agreed to let me take a few days off to get my head straightened out. But, since this feeling of overwhelming my mind goes to thinking of all those children and one adult that died in a house fire in New York City. It blows my mind that so many of them died because there was no smoke detectors. It amazes me that that simple piece of technology can do so much to let you see another day. If you value your life, and your loved ones you need one of these little gadgets. They do save lives, it has been proved over and over in your local evening news as you hear that a family was saved due to their smoke alarm and those that build them swear by them.. Well I have managed to get very sleepy again. Because when I get depressed I have a tendency to go to sleep.